Assume Love

How to have a happier marriage without waiting for your spouse to change

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How to Choose a Spouse: Plan Your 50th Anniversary

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My first husband and I did this entirely by accident, and now I highly recommend it, even though he did not survive to enjoy the date, and I am happily remarried to someone very different. Who will celebrate with you? It’s likely your parents and perhaps even some of your siblings and friends will be gone by then. Do you (both of you) picture being surrounded by children and grandchildren...

Snarky Comments

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Snarky comments about your wife or husband never make a marriage happier or stronger…not even if you share them only with your friends.

AssumeLove.com – celebrating our 18th anniversary today. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

How to Get Your Husband or Wife to Change

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When you married, your spouse seemed perfect. Since then, you’ve discovered an upsetting habit. Or she’s given up vegan for keto. Or he’s stopped exercising and put on 60 pounds. Maybe Mr. Chill loses his cool when job stress goes up. Or perimenopause has messed with her libido. Or perhaps (really?) you married thinking, “That’s OK. I can change him.” Or her...

Trial Balloon Failure

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I was reminded again last week about something a client taught me long ago. Some of us make our decisions out loud. Others don’t speak until they have a decision to announce. And boy do we confuse each other! For those who make up their minds in private, a comment like, “I’m thinking about taking a watercolor painting course” (which I would consider a perfectly sane trial...

For marriage book reviews and books by Patty Newbold, the author of Assume Love, visit:
EnjoyBeingMarried.com

Money: What Are You Protecting?

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I read a lot of relationship and marriage newsletters, columns, and blogs. Money issues come up a lot in them. The advice givers fall into two camps. I wish we had research results on which strategy pays off best in the long run for the most people. Which one is yours? Camp #1: Protect divorced or deserted you by keeping control of all your assets and your place in the job market, even after...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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